They look like child zombies ready to eat her
So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA
i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space
When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something
Get to know our ocean cousins- the dolphins!
STORY TIME: in February I had Pat Kirch write out a tattoo for me and he was so nervous he was like “are you sure? I have such bad handwriting” and he kept apologizing and was so nervous so he tried and then was like “wait no that’s messy” and crossed it out and then retried and wrote “sorry!” under it and it was so sweet because he wrote so slowly and tried so hard to make it neat and pretty for me
if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
ways to give me anxiety:
- sit next to me while im on the computer
- say “i need to talk to you”
- read my messages and dont reply
why can’t everyone just stop complaining about each other and respect one another and live in peaceful harmony with pandas as pets
drake stoppin the game to see if the ladies in the crowd are being treated well
Some people have these like fandom specific blogs and then there’s me:
berries & bananas // a simple and fulfilling breakfast
are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?